Saturday, May 14, 2005

Over in the blurt thread of one of my forums I went on an ADD tangent and voiced my opinion that the 4th season of Smallville on the wb is really boring and of the suck. It wasn't an euphamisim for the crisis in that forum at the time but an actual blurt about Wednesday's episode.

Smallville sucks.

It didn't at first, and I had the fleeting notion that the hotness that is Allison Mack (Plays Chloe Sullivan) would turn out to be Lois Lane using a pseudonym and Clark would get the Disney Girl next door and Lana would go off and marry Pete like in the comic and all will be well.

My God no, they bring in lois. And while the actress they have has incredible rack going for her and is actually cute... just like the new DOOM movie, this lois is just like real comic book lois except there's no Mars, No Zombies, no wanton violence on hell creatures. Y'know, nothing that is actually LOIS.

So they then reveal that Chloe learns the truth about Clark, basically replacing Pete as the friend who knows because no one at WB liked Pete cause after 3 episodes of Pete they didn't know how to write for black actors without it ending up like an episode of UPN's smash hit Girlfriends. Bleagh...

I liked Pete. I liked the actor that played Pete. We DO have blacks in Kansas and they don't all live in Wichita and vote Democrat from inside the 2 block "hood" we have inside the city limits.

[ADD Tangent Rant] Yes Wichita does have a 2 square block "urban" zone that qualifies teachers to have their loans payed for if you work the school there. It's probably the best school in the city because every damn Ed major is thinking "I spent this much?? I gotta work in the inner city and get rid of this!" so they all apply at the one PS 108 in the city of wichita that applies. [/ADD Tangent Rant]

So in the comic, the resource material as you will, Clark tells Lana on the last day of school and not Pete or anyone, there is no Chloe and he doesn't meet Lois till he scoops her in probably the most jackassed way I could imagine. He grants her an interview ten minutes after he finishes the same article he was making about himself. If he was in wall street he'd a been charged with insider trading.

Anyone who learns the secret during his "superboy" period ends up worm food. This is the source materiel.

I do not like Genevive Tiegs, Jason *cough*Blood*cough* Tiegs. I'm sure Cheryl Tiegs doesn't like these characters either. I keep waiting for Jason to get cut and then transform into the rhyming demon Etrigan who is a fun addition to the DC Line up as either a good guy or a villian depending on his mood. Lana's ancestor is a witch and trying to take her over?

Does Jeph Loeb actually read this shit first or is it because he was a DC writer that he gets a billing as a "consultant" and then gets put in a room with the comics guy nerd and locked away? So I know that Chloe's gonna end up dead and Lex's Dad's gonna take over Lex cause Lex is a good guy with a dark side, not an evil nemesis.

I really wanted to love thgis show. Now I'm begging to speed through it like i do dialog scenes in porno. Lana and Jason.. skip... ooh Clark's Dad being an ass and then explaining heartfelt why. Aww that's Smallville I remember...Lana and Chloe scene... uh huh Chloe's gonna die....Lex and Dad.... Yup Dad's so proud of the monster he created.... Skip .. Lois' tiny teeshirt...mmmmm.

That's pretty much been my season of Smallville.

hate you WB. HATE you.


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